I learned “Love yourself first”
My Self Image Story
Question everything your mind thinks. When you have a thought, ask does it come from real experience. If it does, are you seeing it truthfully. Compare your thoughts with other things you have seen. Is it still true?
Self-image is your perception of yourself—the self-talk that runs through your head when you look in the mirror or face a challenge. It’s how you think others perceive you. Importantly, self-image is not based on facts; it’s an inner voice’s reality. Your self-image can significantly affect your self-esteem and self-confidence and can often become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Consider the thought that you are not deserving of love. On the surface, you might desperately seek love, but in the back of your mind, a small voice whispers that you’re not worthy. Consequently, you may choose friends and partners who have trouble showing love (since they might also feel unworthy). This reinforces your belief that you are not lovable. So, how do you break this cycle?
The first step is to love yourself. Your self-talk, both conscious and subconscious, must affirm that you are worthy of greatness, compassion, and intimacy. Changing this inner voice takes practice. Once you believe you are lovable, you become more attractive to loving people. This principle applies to all areas of life: if you want more friends, be friendly to yourself; if you want more love, love yourself; and if you want respect, respect yourself. Understand that you hold the key to everything you desire in life.
Start with gratitude. Gratitude can help you see the positive aspects of your life. Think of your mind as a file cabinet currently filled with negative thoughts. You can’t remove these negative thoughts, but by filling the cabinet with positive ones, the negatives get pushed to the back and eventually get overwritten. Create a gratitude journal and begin or end your day by writing down at least three things you are grateful for.
Self-esteem and self-confidence overlap but are distinct. Self-esteem refers to whether you appreciate and value yourself, and it evolves through your life experiences and interactions with others. Self-confidence is your belief in yourself and your abilities.
Accept the truths about yourself and try to see them in a different light. If you can, view them positively; if not, ensure they don’t define you.
For example, as a child, I had a learning disability (dyslexia) affecting reading, comprehension, memory, math, names, and spelling. I didn’t need anyone to tell me I was struggling; it was obvious. I even shortened my name from Deborah to Deb because I couldn’t spell it. Despite this, I never considered myself stupid. Dyslexia never defined me. Although it made me anxious and questioned how I would survive, I found ways to manage it so well that it’s almost unnoticeable today. When tired, my memory fades, and I might forget simple information, but I know I am much more than my spelling skills.
Lastly, question everything. If you have a negative thought, ask why. Does it come from real experience? If so, are you viewing it truthfully? Compare your thoughts with other experiences. Is it still true?
Self-esteem and self-confidence overlap but are distinct. Self-esteem refers to whether you appreciate and value yourself, and it evolves through your life experiences and interactions with others. Self-confidence is your belief in yourself and your abilities.